nature is healing
13 - reaping the benefits and reconnecting with her
There’s only been one guaranteed thing to ease my anxiety, and that’s stepping out in good ol’ mother nature. Preferably somewhere remote that is away from people and without cell service. I’ve always loved the outdoors. My parents took my sister and I camping every summer when we were kids and I looked forward to navigating and exploring. I don’t want to say I thought I was Eliza from The Wild Thornberrys, but I was pretty convinced that I could talk to animals… I still kind of am :)
As an adult, I find that I’m constantly chasing the feeling of “awe” when it comes to nature.. Those indescribable sunsets and picturesque places that never seem to do photos justice.. These are the moments that make me tear up a bit because I can easily get overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. The fact that it’s unaltered by man, is unpredictable and can practically take my breath away; it’s a high I never want to come down from.
When the pandemic hit, it made travelling quite difficult for all of us. I did what I could to get out and about in California, and I ultimately knew it was better than what my friends back home in Canada were experiencing. I can’t imagine spending two winters stuck inside. At least on the West Coast, I was able to be outdoors in the dead of winter. For someone who has intense seasonal affective disorder, I’m grateful that I had the sun to keep me company most days.
But I, like I’m sure so many of us, was just sad. The world felt extremely depressing and it was hard to get out and appreciate anything, especially if we didn’t have the ones we loved around to experience it with us.
I also desperately started to miss the summers back home. I missed thunderstorms, the loons and being out on the lakes.
When my green card came through, it was September 2021 and I hadn’t seen my family or friends since December of 2019. I’m quite close with my family, so it was the longest I’d ever gone without seeing them. I was terribly homesick and once I legally could, I immediately booked a flight home and spent as much time as I could outdoors. It was like a breath of fresh air. I also made a point to make it up to Muskoka, a place I cherish quite deeply. It’s a magical cottage town, just a couple hours north of Toronto. If you’ve never heard of it, I highly recommend looking up photos. It’s one of those quintessential Canadian experiences.
I remember sitting on a dock out on Lake Muskoka one evening, watching the sunset, my feet in the water, and a thought occurred to me… I think I’m done with music supervision. I feel like my brain was able to calm down enough to really have my intuition poke through. I remember crying and having an immense release of pressure lifted from my chest. It was an epiphany of some sort.. At that moment, a flock of Canadian geese flew over my head in the shape of a ‘V’ - taking off to migrate south for the winter, and I knew in my bones; it was time. It only took a moment of clarity in nature to collect myself and come to my senses.
Two months after that, I put my notice in with my team and prepared myself for the next phase. I knew I was going to start 2022 without work, which equally terrified and comforted me.
If we slow down enough and listen, the answers will come. I think it’s important to make a conscious effort to connect with nature. It doesn’t have to be roughing it out in the middle of nowhere, it could be a simple walk to feel the breeze on your skin, to watch the clouds change shape, or to admire wildlife. It puts us in a meditative state, and for those who have a hard time meditating – it’s a perfect alternative.
I definitely lost my connection to nature when I was overworked. When one experiences intense burnout, mental health is always the first thing to go, and that includes taking the time to get outside and find small moments of peace. The music and entertainment industry can also make us feel exceedingly guilty for wanting to take breaks or vacations. A week of vacation somewhere won’t really do it justice either, a stronger dose of separation is fundamentally needed in order to come back from burnout. For someone like me, who has always had nature be a big part of her life, it felt burdensome to schedule outdoor excursions. I no longer felt calm when going on hikes or taking trips to the beach.. The only thing I could think about was my long to-do list. I could never fully relax. That eventually felt like a huge red flag to me.. If I can’t enjoy the things I love most because of a job, then maybe I shouldn’t be doing that job any longer.
All this to say, it took getting back to a place that fully calmed me in order to comprehend what my needs were. It made me feel small and my problems insignificant, which helped ground me in a way that allowed me to make bold decisions and shift my priorities.
I can happily say, I’ve gone camping more this year than I have since I was a kid. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to reconnect with sweet mother nature. I’m so grateful for her and her immense healing powers.
How can you make a conscious effort to get outside and revitalize your connection with nature? Is there a place that brings you a lot of peace? When was the last time you were there?
Over the next month, I challenge you to put your screens away and consciously spend time outdoors. Even if it’s only for half an hour.. Try doing it without any other distractions, without music, without texting or calling someone, and really separate yourself from your responsibilities. If you have children or others who rely on you, find a way to include them in the process if you can. You may be surprised by what your intuition shares with you. See what happens when you make the time to practice this… It’s pure magic.
Also, please be sure to check out one of my favourite Canadian acts, Michael Bernard Fitzgerald. He’s filmed a number of his songs live out in the Canadian wilderness, all of them incorporating the natural landscape around him. It’s extremely calming and he’s a talented force.. Stay well :)