being playful as an adult

14 - work doesn't define me!

Autumn is upon us and it’s a cozy time of year. A time that has me reflecting more than normal. I don’t know if it’s the leaves shifting in colour or the brisk morning breeze that does it, but there’s a change in the air. A change I welcome, despite the fact that the cold weather is upon us..

Before diving into this month's newsletter, I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for choosing to be here and for taking the time to read about this journey. It means you can relate to some degree, which both saddens me and comforts me. I don’t wish burnout on anyone, but the more vulnerable I’ve been about my experience, the more I’ve realized I’m not alone.

If you’re new here, there are a number of entries you can find on my main substack page. Some go into further detail about my role as a music supervisor and the struggles all supervisors face. Other entries are more broad and playful. I use the word playful, because that’s the focus of this newsletter.. Learning how to be playful as an adult, especially for those of us who happen to be “too busy”.

As we get older and as time goes on, we tend to get so overwhelmed with responsibilities that we unfortunately make less and less time to be creative, try something new, or be playful at all.

Suffering from burnout, whether that be from a job or elsewhere, can make it difficult to find the energy to do anything.. (Besides curl up on the couch and watch TV that is)... It’s easier to push pause on our own lives and hit play on other narrative stories, in order to give our minds a wee break.

This is a major sign of burnout: Feeling checked out, unmotivated and under-stimulated..   Also, finding the energy to go out, make plans, or focus on self-care in any way can be extremely exhausting.. 

When I was in my twenties and in the early stages of my career, I made time to do all sorts of things.. Number one, I was songwriting more frequently and singing daily.. I also used to read a lot more. I painted on canvas, went on bike rides, and made crafts and sold them on Etsy. (I thrifted old teacups and turned them into candles, as well as hand moulded skull pins).. 

My career in music supervision was so hectic, that I started to wean out all of the creative bits in me in order to focus my energy on my work. I tried to find a balance in it all, but I was too overwhelmed. I couldn’t enjoy being creative in my downtime because I didn’t really have any. If I did, all I could think about was my to-do list and how it stressed me out further.. So I just stopped doing those things all together. That was the moment when my work and career became my identity.

It’s probably no surprise that it eventually caught up with me and affected me in extraordinary ways. I missed having a creative outlet, one that was rooted in self expression and allowed me to emote.

I think it can be easy to fall into the trap of career hustle too. It's ingrained in us at an early age to graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, and immediately get a job after that… As if we’re supposed to know what we want to do AND land the job before we turn 25. Not to mention, compete against others in an overpopulated industry.

This level of hustle can set ourselves up for failure so easily, because there are expectations set that simply are not sustainable for long periods of time. Hence why so many people in this day and age are suffering from burnout and are quitting their jobs and/or are looking for more work/life balance. The pandemic was a wake up call for a lot of us. 

When I stepped away from the world of supervision back in January, I took a week to decompress and wrap my head around the new lifestyle I was about to embark upon.. Immediately after that, I started making time to create. I purchased some clay pots and painted them. I read a bunch of books, fixed up my bike, and purchased a new guitar so I could start writing again. It felt like I was connecting with that far distant version of myself. She was coming back to the surface again, very much so alive and well. Okay, maybe not well, but definitely alive and feeling nurtured again.

Now, I understand, not everyone has a creative side to them.. However, there are hobbies or activities we can do in order to feed our soul. Even though we’re grown adults, I think it’s important to make (not find) time for play. We forget to do this, and before we know it, we’re running on that hamster wheel, completely unaware of the last time we stepped off.

So maybe think about something you used to do as a young adult or a kid, and see if you can incorporate that into your life every once in a while. Even if it’s only for 10-15 minutes. It could be reading, playing a video game, buying a pogo stick, fishing, doing paint by numbers, cross-stitching, going out to play laser tag or mini putt.. Maybe it’s jumping in a pile of leaves? (Gosh, I miss doing that, and the smell!? *sigh*)... As long as it’s something that brings you joy, it should help with feeling more playful and alive. It may even feel awkward at first, or elementary, but I think we need to challenge ourselves to do uncomfortable things in order to grow and find balance.

Being career driven isn’t a bad thing, but choosing to make work our lives? Well, that doesn’t help anyone.. Including ourselves.

Here’s an autumn playlist for you to enjoy this season (on both Spotify & Apple Music).

Be well :)
xx

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